empty

i’ve been feeling so empty lately. i’m not depressed- i think. at least it’s not like it was on march last year, or october. i don’t feel like crying and sleeping and being alone 24/7. i just feel like... nothing. i’m not driven by anyting. i’m supposed to be studying for this final exam (and i am), but i don’t care for it. i don’t care if i do good or not. i just don’t care. 

and i have stopped enjoying the things i generally enjoyed doing, like drawing and writing. i’m just empty. if depression was the bottom of a hole, i feel like i’m stuck halfway. like i know i’m not at the bottom, and i can see the light, but i can’t get out. kind of as if i’m waking on a daze or something.

it’s weird and it’s terrible because i don’t feel entirely bad but at the same time i don't feel like doing anything because nothing excites me anymore. ugh! i hate this shit, i’d rather be depressed. scratch that, i’d rather feel OK. but who am i kidding?

~talk’s a waste of time~