what’s the point

what’s the point of finishing my career? just to prove that i can? because i for sure ain’t happy with what i’m doing and i’m most definitely not excited for what comes next. i don’t want to be a fucking investigator and starve to death living out of a “scholarship”. it’s not even a fucking real job! god, i hate this so much. it makes me miserable! it makes me anxious and tired and i just can’t anymore-

what if i just drop everything? i mean, i should get a job first because my mother’s gonna fucking kick my ass outta the house if i ever do actually quit. i just haven’t been happy with my career for a very long time, but i never quit because i didn’t know what else to do. like, i didn’t have any plans to fall to. it’s not like i have a hobby that i’m not doing 24/7 because of university. this is all i’m doing. this is my life. but i fucking hate it so much.

i don’t just hate studying (i am so fucking tired of it), i hate the fact that once i’m done it just keeps going. what am i doing next? a doctorate? great. you know what that means? MORE FUCKING STUDYING! and i just can’t take it anymore. i just can’t.

i’m done taking clases. like, literally, i’m done. the only thing between me and my degree is 8 finals and my thesis defense. but as far as i’m concerned, i’m done. i don’t wanna do this anymore. i just don’t.

i fucking hate my life right now. i hate it.

i hate it.

i hate it.

i hate it.

~talk’s a waste of time~