føur years...

source

sømetimes quiet is viølent.

i wish i'd been there when all this happened. they've come so far.

stay alive, frens |-/

i've been thinking too much...

... help me: my inner teen has been overthinking the heavydirtysoul music video meanings, and this morning, surfing through twitter i came across to what "TØP Tour Media" (@TOPTourMedia) thoughts were about it and i felt the need to share it:

"Okay, here's my theory on what the video for Heavydirtysoul represents, and how it fits in with the message the Blurryface album give us-

I think it's clear after watching the video, that it represents the vision that Tyler has of wanting to get rid of Blurryface with Blurryface representing his inner demons and problems he faces. And Tyler tries really hard to get rid of them every day but is never 100% successful at it, like the rest of us, you can never quite get rid of them all.

But in the video, he has this grand vision where he is able to defeat Blurryface, and successfully get rid of his problems until the very end, where the video almost starts over again, with him still in the back seat, and Blurryface being the driver which shows that he could not do it, and he is still stuck with a part of him. Like all of us are.

And this ties in with the Blurryface album as a whole, but particularly between Heavydirtysoul and Goner. Here's how-

When you listen to Goner, it ends with the same noise as Heavydirtysoul begins with, representing the cycle of the album and, the Goner vid from five years ago, ends (with the same noise) @ night, whereas Heavydirtysoul starts in the early morning. This gives us the visual explanation that the album has already been telling us for years now- that you can't get rid of him and I think that's something super powerful and relatable to all of us, something that most people won't understand.

THAT is why I love this band. They've never necessarily been one for these 'Hollywood happy endings', but what they do give us are these thoughts, these messages, these feelings that we can bring with us into the real world, and use to defeat our demons, our own insecurities, our own Blurryface. We all have one, and we can never get rid of him entirely, but we can always to our best to keep him down and not let him show. Amen to that |-/"

i think this is just brilliant. my only addition to this theory would be that to me, it's not Blurryface who's driving but Tyler, and Blurryface is constantly tagging along in the backseat (mostly because the guy in the backseat has the make-up that represents Blurryface). and Tyler tries to get rid of him, goes as far as to destroying the car only to find out that Blurryface is still there, because -like "TØP Tour Media" said- we can never get rid of him entirely.

digging too much into the car metaphore, i'd say that the car could represent Tyler as a human being, the driver would be Tyler's mind, and in the backseat there's Blurryface representing his insecurities: as if Tyler had regain control of his life, kicking Blurryface to the back of his mind but  never really getting rid of him completely. that's why at the end of the video it all begins again.

altough i can' quite put my firnger around why Tyler's wearing Blurryface make-up, yet white socks instead of red. it wouldn't be that much of a big deal if it wasn't for the fact that everything Tyler does is never random and it always represents something. it's driving me nuts!

it could mean that Tyler did tame Blurryface -sort of speak- at a point where he's not his full version but a lighter one. like he did defeat his insecurities, he did face the fears Blurryface represented, but that doesn't necessarily mean they've gone away; like, even though he woked them through, they're still a part of him.

i don't know, now i'm just getting creative, trying to understand how Tyler's mind works is very complicated.

but maybe, the fact that when the car falls apart there's no driver and "Blurryface" is able to escape means that Tyler is now ok with his insecurities and they've become a part of him in a way that they do not control him anymore but he's very aware they exist: hence only the black paint is there to represent Blurryface. perhaps that's what joining Josh on the road and the change of outfit in Blurryface means: that the guy singing is not Blurryface, but Tyler embracing his insecurities.

*mind-blown*

moving on: can we talk about Josh's face at the begining? it's like he sees Tyler come and he looks terrified. but i believe he looks terrified because he's scared he won't be able to help Tyler face his fears and beat his insecurities. i like to think that the fact that Tyler drives by Josh again once his drums are on fire represents their friendship. like in a 'through thick and thin' kinda way. as if, even though Josh doesn't really know how to (or can) help Tyler get rid of Blurryface, he's there for him.

all theories aside: i love how Josh looks back at the car exploding, but i think that has no deep meaning, he was just curious of watching a car blow up, or maybe the explotion scared him a little <3

also: i really love how Tyler moves when he's singing. and i like that that's how he moves in the live shows too. man, i wanna see them live so bad! (side-note: i would've given him a mic)

P.S.: (i don't know if it was deliberately or not but) i like that the video starts almost the same way  the video for "Famous Last Words" ends. i miss MCR so much </3

stay alive, frens |-/

heavydirtysoul

you did it Tyler... and it is amazing.

stay alive, frens |-/

am i the only one i know waging my wars behind my face and above my throat?

uff! me puse a leer posts viejos y para qué. mi vida era igual de aburrida, sólo que me gustaba mi carrera. no recuerdo haber estado tan enamorada de la biología, o la "ciencia" como le dicen los mortales (dios! cómo odio esa palabra! "ciencia", no "mortales"). casi que me da un poco de asco leerlo y saber que se supone que se trata de la misma persona. lo más terrible es no saber en qué momento cambió. por qué no me gusta ahora. no recuerdo ese momento en que pensé "estuve equivocada todo este tiempo, esto es una mierda"; como que en mi cerebro siempre fue una caca.

all we are is an isle of flightless birds

we find our worth in giving birth and stuff

we're lining our homes against winding roads

and we think the going is tough

we pick songs to sing, remind us of things that nobody cares about

and honestly we're probably more suicidal than ever now

tal cual, Tyler. tal.y.cual.

en palabras de mi yo del 2013: la vida es una mierda, quiero vivir en un libro, en su defecto en una serie (de preferencia inglesa), en su defecto una película (en idioma original, obvio).

me voy a la chota con esta versión de "Fall Away" en vivo que todos sabemos que es espectacular. estúpido y sensual (y talentoso) Dr. Blum.

tyjø bailando, tho.

stay alive, frens |-/

there's an infestation in my mind's imagination

i hope they choke on smoke 'cause i'm smoking them out the basement
this is not rap this is not hip-hop just another attempt to make the voices stop
rapping to prove nothing just writing to say something
'cause i wasn't the only one who wasn't rushing to say nothing
this doesn't mean i lost my dream
it's just right now i've got a really crazy mind to clean

stay alive, frens |-/

necesito lluvia... STAT!

hace demasiado calor y yo acá mirando videos de hormigas (long story), me derrito. además de que es fin de año y lo odio. ugh alsjdalksjdlkajsdlkasldjl qué garcha, es como mi cumpleaños, para qué festejar el término de algo (o el comienzo ¿?), no me gusta... me angustia por alguna razón que no puedo explicar. no sé si es el calor, si es que no puedo lidiar bien con los cambios, o si quizás es porque estoy escuchando canciones de Tyler Joseph que son emo as fuck. Tampoco puedo dejar de pensar en cómo me siento identificada con esa parte del bridge de "Forest", la que dice:

i don't understand why everything i adore takes a different form when i squint my eyes. have you ever done that? when you squint your eyes and your eyelashes make it look a little not right, and then with just enough light comes from just the right side and you find you're not who you're supposed to be?

estúpido y sensual Tyler Joseph es como si estuviera adentro de mi cerebro. no me pasaba esto desde Gerard... estúpido y sensual Gerard que mató My Chemical Romance. ¡ugh! te odio, gordo puto... mentira. no lo puedo odiar. volviendo a Tyler... ah, ya no sé nada, hace demasiado calor para pensar. pero qué lindo sería poder cambiar quién soy o qué hago. al menos por un tiempo, no sé, para ver qué se siente hacer otra cosa, ser otra persona. por ejemplo, ser una persona que ama lo que hace, ¿o que hace lo que ama? da igual... just change for a while, or... forever.

me voy a la garcha (a seguir viendo videos de hormigas, o quizás a resolver el fifteen-minute-melee del SSBM porque me siento con ganas de matar gente) con este video de Josh Dun:

¿cómo puede ser tan lindo y tan talentoso a la vez? <3

stay alive, frens |-/

twenty|øne|piløts

happy birthday self-titled.
what an amazing album... stupid sexy Tyler Jøseph: i love your brain.

If you're listening to this... you're the Resistance.-

*End Of Transmission*

TØPxMM

holy. fucking. shit.

ohmygod! it starts off with "Heathens" which i fucking love so much and everybody made such a great job on it. i mean, i haven't seen/heard/listened to much Mutemath, but these guys can play (obviously, because they've been around for quite a while now)! and Tyler's vocals were ON POINT. i mean: ear-melting... so good!

"Heavydirtysoul" was a dream come true: it sounded just like the album but with every sound going on live, it was so beautiful i cried. so many things going on in that song at the same time and all of them boys played so flawlessly. standing ovation, frens. (i loved how Tyler didn't know what to do with his hands, like he was missing his tambourine during the chorus)

"Ride" was nice. i love that song, but particularly during the first half of the second verse i thought it was weak. what i mean to say is: by changing it i think they took something out of it... i don't know, power? maybe? or maybe i'm just missing something... that outro, tho! overall, i loved it. also: Tyler dacing. if that doesn't save lives, nothing does. <3

i didn't like "Tear In My Heart" for the same reason: that song, the way it was written, is such a beautiful power ballad, and they took that away from it and just completely changed it. if this was the only version of the song i think i'd be ok with it, but having listened to the original one, i pretty much think they ruined it. but then, there's Josh playing the trumpet and Tyler dancing again #GimmeTwentyOneOfThose. <3

"Lane Boy". Josh FUCKING Dun. what a talented dude, man... the ending of this song was literaly mind-blowing. not only Josh's solo but the outro with that drum duel. i never wanted it to end! i feel like the proper description could be: asldkjalskdjlaksjdlkajsdlkajslkdjalksdjalksjdas. yep, no real, understandable words.

this was such a beautiful end of the year present for such a dull, tragic year. 2016 has taken way too much from us, and this: this proves that this life is still worth living. so much talent, so much love for music in one room.

twenty øne piløts & Mutemath.

make this happen again.

make it happen forever.

stay alive, frens |-/

P.S.: during the whole 25 minutes and 31 seconds i was waiting for Tyler to pick up his ukey... but he never did u.u

If you're listening to this... you're the Resistance.-

*End Of Transmission*

twenty øne piløts, everybody... #BestFrens

If you're listening to this... you're the Resistance.-

*End Of Transmission*