Pet

Pet

I'll be the one to protect you from 

Your enemies and all your demons 

I'll be the one to protect you from 

A will to survive and a voice of reason 

I'll be the one to protect you from 

Your enemies and your choices, son 

They're one in the same, I must isolate you 

Isolate and save you from yourself 

I watched the tobacco slowly catching fire in my cigarette as I thought what would happen if I acted like I cared about it. I took a deep drag and the smoke penetrated my lungs and filled me with its warmth. She came outside and stood in front of me waving a half drank beer bottle.

"Your nose is bleeding", I simply pointed out touching my own nose where I could see hers.

She reached for it with her spare hand and wiped it clean. "That's what happens when you have fun" She said giggling.

I faked a smirk and fooled myself for half a second into thinking she might, for once, be right. She grabbed my forearm and tried to pull me back in the bar, but I shook my head no and waved the cigarette as if to point at her I wanted to finish smoking first. That didn't make any sense, given practically the whole bar was smoking inside; every time the back door opened a cloud of cigarette and pot smoke came out as a monster trying to escape its prison. She went back inside without asking any more questions. Somehow she knew I was weird that way. The matter of the fact was: I just didn't have the stomach to watch her get wasted and be felt up by strangers. Not tonight.

But I did have to wait for her. I couldn't just leave her there, alone and vulnerable. In just a couple of shots she'd be drunk and high enough not to remember anything the next day, that was my moment to bring her back home and put her to bed.

The back door suddenly flew open.

"Here you are!" it was Todd, one of the bartenders; one of my friends, I suppose. "Your girl is throwing up in the bathroom, it's nasty... like, hurling, it's... it's really gross."

"She's not my girl" I answered throwing what was left of my cigarette on the floor and stepping on it.

"Whatever, man. Just, take her home, it's not pretty." He said and went back inside.

I followed him into the bar and a curtain of smoke clouded my vision. By memory, I went straight ahead to the bathroom and looked for her in the stalls. She was lying on the floor resting her head on the toilet seat with her left arm beneath it.

"Hey, you" She greeted me.

I helped her up and led her to the sink so she could wash up a little and then carried her outside and into my car.

She fell asleep on the way home so I carried her to her apartment. I woke her up on her door so she could give me her keys. Then I helped her get inside.

"I need... 'elp... or sommin'" She mumbled in a drunken voice struggling with the back zipper of her dress as I was starting to walk out. "Please!" She asked letting her arms drop like they weighted fifty pounds each.

I walked up to her and unzipped her dress slowly. Her hair smelled like cigarette and pot smoke at first, but deep down it smelled like her perfume. It was sweet and flowery; it smelled like her. She took off her dress with me standing there and left it on the floor; she walked into her room, put on a t-shirt three sizes too big, then came back and stood in front of me.

"You staying over?" She asked.

I looked at her and couldn't help but thinking how drunk and high she was.

"Say yes...?" She said then.

"Fine" I answered taking off my jacket and closing the front door.

"C'mon..." She grabbed me by my sleeve and pulled me into her room.

I kicked off my shoes and crawled into bed with her. She intertwined my fingers with hers and put my arm around her pressing her back to my chest. I sank my nose into the back of her neck breathing her in. How was I supposed to tell her how much I cared without losing this? How was I supposed to tell her that her using and drinking had gone out of control when it was the only way I could hold her this close? As I was falling asleep I thought 'am I being a bad friend or am I just being selfish?'

Emily Blame,

July, 17th, 2015

If you're listening to this... you're the Resistance.-

*End Of Transmission*