so, after a while (it’s been literally a couple of hours, but still) i feel a lot better about my career situation. don’t get me wrong, i still fucking hate it, i still wanna fucking quit. BUT, i’m more in a fuck-it-i’m-just-gonna-finish-it-for-the-goddamn-glory kinda way (unless i get a job, then it’s bye-bye-bitch-you’re-dead-to-me-see-you-in-Hell!). it won’t mean anything; the glory, i mean. there’s still no glory in this fucking career or everything that comes after finishing it but oh fuck it. what am i on about? where was this post going?
i’ve been watching a lot of Dodie Clark (aka: doddleoddle) vlogs/videos, and i’ve came to realize how good it feels to just write shit down. i mean, i came across the “am i oversharingggg too much” video and i realized how broken she really is (don’t get me wrong, i adore her and admire her. i genuinely look up to her). and how much i am just like her. only that she has millions of viewers and i have literally zero readers here (not even my friends read this blog and they’re all aware of its existence- but like i said in a previous post (or future post actually, cuz i haven’t published it yet (it’s a long story)) no one really cares what you have to say). man, i’m so sorry for all those unnecessary parentheses.
anyways: what i’m saying is, she felt the need to share her insecurities and the way she was feeling when she’d hit rock bottom, and lately i kinda feel the same way. again, the difference being me sharing my feelings/(mental) unhealthy thoughts serves no harm whatsoever to anyone because no one has access to it. well, everybody has access to it, but- oh, you know what i mean.
you can expect me to come back to my whining somewhen very soon, i presume (hopefully no, though).
~talk’s a waste of time~
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