Ok. So, this fanfic is not mine. It's a fic I found a few years ago (like five or four years ago) in Quizilla® -I mean, back when Quizilla was quizilla.com and not .teenick.com-. It was written by user AuroraMist, who took it down, and I don't know why.
She wrote a lot of amazing fan fictions; she's a hell of a writer. But this is definitely my favourite from her, and it is for sure the best My Chemical Romance fan fiction I've ever read. And I've read quite a few. So, I thought I'd share it -again- with the World. Cuz it's awesome, and it deserves to be read.
"Well," Frank said, looking surprised, "I didn't expect you to be wandering around the apartment in just underwear. Did you accidentally leave all of your clothes at the dry-cleaners again?"
I shook my head, still trying to think while I pursed my lips and squinted my eyes (which Frank seemed very concerned about judging by the look on his face).
"Carrie, are you going to come hug me? I missed you." His eyebrows furrowed when I didn't come over to him with my arms wide open. "What, do you want to put some pants on first? Just hurry up. Like I said, I missed you Carrie-bear."
I looked around. "Yeah, I think I'll get some pants." I grabbed the pants on the floor behind me and slipped them on easier than I remembered being able to. I turned to Frank who was looking at me oddly.
"Are those your pants?"
I looked down at my... wait, no. I was wearing Bert's pants. "Uh, yeah. They're new - why, don’t you like them?"
"Um, sure. But I think you got them from the men’s department."
"Well, you know. Extra room since I'm putting on some weight."
He let his bag drop to the ground and came over to hug me. When he pulled away, he looked at me alarmed. "Weight on? Carrie, you've lost heaps!"
I tried to smile brightly. "Wow, compliments this early in the morning? I heard you're sick - how many pain killers did you take?"
He kissed my forehead. "Have I told you that I missed you, yet?"
"I missed you too. How are you feeling?"
"Like shit, that's why I came home two weeks early."
"But what about the tour?"
"The Used are having a break at the moment so - you know Quinn?- they've replaced me."
"Ah," I muttered. "That would explain... a lot."
"Mmm. So, why are there so many clothes all over the place?"
I flinched (I hope not too noticeably) and tried to act confused. "What? Why would there be clothes all over the place?"
"I don't know but there are clothes from the kitchen to here all over."
Shit. "Oh... well... you know me, I'm a messy thing."
"Too fucking right you are. I-" He stopped talking and my heart stopped for a second aswell. Bert, obviously not happy with being hidden, was making a raucous in the bathroom. By the sound of it, he was throwing toiletries around and whimpering at often intervals. "Did you put my dog in the bathroom?"
"Um, actually she's 'Madonna' now and, no, I didn't lock her in there."
Frank's eyebrows shot up. "Madonna?"
"Yeah, why? Do you not like it?"
"No, it's fine. I'm just surprised, what with how much you hate her, that you named her something so normal."
"I don't hate her. I did consider calling her Dipshit though."
"You can't do that, that's reserved for me."
I grinned and opened my mouth to retort, happy for us to be off the subject of the thing locked up and making noises. But a loud crash in the bathroom interrupted, followed by a bellowed, "Mother-fucking hell!"
Frank looked at me and then the bathroom door before walking over to it. "Carrie why is there…"
But he didn't finish what he was saying because he'd unlocked and swung open the door. Bert was standing there, naked, cradling a bleeding thumb with shattered porcelain at his feet.
It used to be Frank's mother's antique vase.
But I don't think he was looking aghast at that - it was probably because Bert McCracken was standing there. Naked.
Frank's eyes slowly moved from him to me and I almost saw the pieces come together in his mind.
Bert, naked + Carrie, almost naked = something suspicious.
"Hi Frank," Bert finally spoke up.
Frank pursed his lips but said almost pleasantly - almost, "Hey Bert. Enjoying your break?"
He smirked and draped an arm over my shoulder. "Yeah, it's been ... fun."
I closed my eyes and exhaled sharply. This was painful.
When I opened my eyes, Frank was glaring at Bert, who was nuzzling my neck.
I jerked away from Bert's offending lips and snapped, "Bert, please."
"Okay," he said easily, before kissing my mouth quickly and starting to stride out, still starkers. 'I guess you two have quite a lot to talk about."
"I can't believe I used to like him," Frank muttered, watching. Bert walked out and closed the door behind him.
"I could make something pretty funny out of what you just said," I told him timidly, avoiding his gaze, "but even I am smart enough to know that this is not the time for jokes. Are you mad at me?"
He took a deep breath and said, "No. It's not like we're in a proper relationship or anything, you're not cheating on me."
I sighed in relief. "I'm so-"
"But you could have considered my feelings first! The deal was we were only meant to have sex with our own body parts!"
"Frankie, that can only work for you. I don't have a dick my hand can wrap around."
"No, but you have fingers and genitals. You know what to do."
"Well excuse me if I want human contact once in awhile!"
"You have me!"
"Frank, I can't fuck you!"
He opened and closed his mouth before turning away. "This is getting out of hand. I don't care who you screw, you just should have considered my feelings first."
"I'm sorry. Are you okay with me and Bert?"
"Bert and I."
"Yeah, that one," I dismissed.
"I'm just fucking dandy with it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Carrie, I'm sure."
"You say that but are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Really?"
"Yes."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure that I'm sure I'm not okay with this! I just ... don't want to lose you."
"You won't, dipshit."
"Bert doesn't deserve you! You should be with someone who understands you-"
"Well, according to you, you're the only person who understands me these days."
"That's because I am; you need me!"
"I do not need you, Mr. Iero."
"You can't become involved with someone else," he argued, "we're already too involved with each other."
"I see what this is!" I was shouting now and pointing at him. "You don't want to share me!"
"Exactly!" He burst out. "And I shouldn't have to, you're my fiancée!"
"No, I'm not," I spat. "And you don't want to share me so I can't get a boyfriend and be happy. You want
me to be miserable all my life. With you."
I started to walk out and he grabbed my elbow as I passed. I shook out of his grasp.
"I'm not miserable!" He shouted after me. "Bert will make you miserable though. He's not right for you."
21
"Well," Frank said, looking surprised, "I didn't expect you to be wandering around the apartment in just underwear. Did you accidentally leave all of your clothes at the dry-cleaners again?"
I shook my head, still trying to think while I pursed my lips and squinted my eyes (which Frank seemed very concerned about judging by the look on his face).
"Carrie, are you going to come hug me? I missed you." His eyebrows furrowed when I didn't come over to him with my arms wide open. "What, do you want to put some pants on first? Just hurry up. Like I said, I missed you Carrie-bear."
I looked around. "Yeah, I think I'll get some pants." I grabbed the pants on the floor behind me and slipped them on easier than I remembered being able to. I turned to Frank who was looking at me oddly.
"Are those your pants?"
I looked down at my... wait, no. I was wearing Bert's pants. "Uh, yeah. They're new - why, don’t you like them?"
"Um, sure. But I think you got them from the men’s department."
"Well, you know. Extra room since I'm putting on some weight."
He let his bag drop to the ground and came over to hug me. When he pulled away, he looked at me alarmed. "Weight on? Carrie, you've lost heaps!"
I tried to smile brightly. "Wow, compliments this early in the morning? I heard you're sick - how many pain killers did you take?"
He kissed my forehead. "Have I told you that I missed you, yet?"
"I missed you too. How are you feeling?"
"Like shit, that's why I came home two weeks early."
"But what about the tour?"
"The Used are having a break at the moment so - you know Quinn?- they've replaced me."
"Ah," I muttered. "That would explain... a lot."
"Mmm. So, why are there so many clothes all over the place?"
I flinched (I hope not too noticeably) and tried to act confused. "What? Why would there be clothes all over the place?"
"I don't know but there are clothes from the kitchen to here all over."
Shit. "Oh... well... you know me, I'm a messy thing."
"Too fucking right you are. I-" He stopped talking and my heart stopped for a second aswell. Bert, obviously not happy with being hidden, was making a raucous in the bathroom. By the sound of it, he was throwing toiletries around and whimpering at often intervals. "Did you put my dog in the bathroom?"
"Um, actually she's 'Madonna' now and, no, I didn't lock her in there."
Frank's eyebrows shot up. "Madonna?"
"Yeah, why? Do you not like it?"
"No, it's fine. I'm just surprised, what with how much you hate her, that you named her something so normal."
"I don't hate her. I did consider calling her Dipshit though."
"You can't do that, that's reserved for me."
I grinned and opened my mouth to retort, happy for us to be off the subject of the thing locked up and making noises. But a loud crash in the bathroom interrupted, followed by a bellowed, "Mother-fucking hell!"
Frank looked at me and then the bathroom door before walking over to it. "Carrie why is there…"
But he didn't finish what he was saying because he'd unlocked and swung open the door. Bert was standing there, naked, cradling a bleeding thumb with shattered porcelain at his feet.
It used to be Frank's mother's antique vase.
But I don't think he was looking aghast at that - it was probably because Bert McCracken was standing there. Naked.
Frank's eyes slowly moved from him to me and I almost saw the pieces come together in his mind.
Bert, naked + Carrie, almost naked = something suspicious.
"Hi Frank," Bert finally spoke up.
Frank pursed his lips but said almost pleasantly - almost, "Hey Bert. Enjoying your break?"
He smirked and draped an arm over my shoulder. "Yeah, it's been ... fun."
I closed my eyes and exhaled sharply. This was painful.
When I opened my eyes, Frank was glaring at Bert, who was nuzzling my neck.
I jerked away from Bert's offending lips and snapped, "Bert, please."
"Okay," he said easily, before kissing my mouth quickly and starting to stride out, still starkers. 'I guess you two have quite a lot to talk about."
"I can't believe I used to like him," Frank muttered, watching. Bert walked out and closed the door behind him.
"I could make something pretty funny out of what you just said," I told him timidly, avoiding his gaze, "but even I am smart enough to know that this is not the time for jokes. Are you mad at me?"
He took a deep breath and said, "No. It's not like we're in a proper relationship or anything, you're not cheating on me."
I sighed in relief. "I'm so-"
"But you could have considered my feelings first! The deal was we were only meant to have sex with our own body parts!"
"Frankie, that can only work for you. I don't have a dick my hand can wrap around."
"No, but you have fingers and genitals. You know what to do."
"Well excuse me if I want human contact once in awhile!"
"You have me!"
"Frank, I can't fuck you!"
He opened and closed his mouth before turning away. "This is getting out of hand. I don't care who you screw, you just should have considered my feelings first."
"I'm sorry. Are you okay with me and Bert?"
"Bert and I."
"Yeah, that one," I dismissed.
"I'm just fucking dandy with it."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Carrie, I'm sure."
"You say that but are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Really?"
"Yes."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure that I'm sure I'm not okay with this! I just ... don't want to lose you."
"You won't, dipshit."
"Bert doesn't deserve you! You should be with someone who understands you-"
"Well, according to you, you're the only person who understands me these days."
"That's because I am; you need me!"
"I do not need you, Mr. Iero."
"You can't become involved with someone else," he argued, "we're already too involved with each other."
"I see what this is!" I was shouting now and pointing at him. "You don't want to share me!"
"Exactly!" He burst out. "And I shouldn't have to, you're my fiancée!"
"No, I'm not," I spat. "And you don't want to share me so I can't get a boyfriend and be happy. You want
me to be miserable all my life. With you."
I started to walk out and he grabbed my elbow as I passed. I shook out of his grasp.
"I'm not miserable!" He shouted after me. "Bert will make you miserable though. He's not right for you."
xo-
~ My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die. Because it is not a band- it is an idea. ~
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