Ok. So, this fanfic is not mine. It's a fic I found a few years ago (like five or four years ago) in Quizilla® -I mean, back when Quizilla was quizilla.com and not .teenick.com-. It was written by user AuroraMist, who took it down, and I don't know why.
She wrote a lot of amazing fan fictions; she's a hell of a writer. But this is definitely my favourite from her, and it is for sure the best My Chemical Romance fan fiction I've ever read. And I've read quite a few. So, I thought I'd share it -again- with the World. Cuz it's awesome, and it deserves to be read.
19
Life went on without the
boys. It was much less exciting but it carried on nonetheless.
I had two photo shoots, I
visited my parents about twice a week, I kept on working at the bookstore and
I'd joined a dance class.
Anything to keep me busy I guess. Anything to keep me going.
I didn't notice at first,
but I wasn't eating as much as usual, I had less energy and nights became
restless. I put it down to stress (I'd be doing my first commercial where I got
to act not just stand there and make faces) and dismissed it. The dance class
was fun but it only made me more tired. I wouldn't give it up though, it kept
me preoccupied. Busy.
I broke down one morning.
I'd been experiencing cramps, vomiting and a bladder that suddenly wouldn't
stop - plus I was an emotional wreck. So, obviously, I'd thought there was
something wrong with me, something very wrong. After wiping my eyes and pulling
myself up off the ground in the bathroom - which was where I'd collapsed crying
- I walked myself to the car and drove to my doctor's clinic.
I didn't have an appointment, and I was nervous about that, but thankfully Liza
(my doctor) was putting a patient's file away when I came in. She took one look
at the remnants of tears down my face and ushered me straight through to her
office. She closed the door and pulled her chair over to sit right next to the
one I was in.
"Carrie, what's
wrong?"
"I took a pregnancy
test this morning and it w-was po-positive," I stammered, fidgeting with a
piece of string in my lap.
"Carrie, that's
brilliant!" Liza exclaimed. Aswell as being my doctor, she is one of my
closest friends and, two years older than myself, has a three year old boy,
Damien. Of course she's think this is 'brilliant!' "It may seem a shock
now but, honestly, they are the best things anyone could ever have. What are
your symptoms so far?" She queried, flipping to a clean sheet from my file
and waiting for my answer, pen poised over the paper.
"Peeing a lot,
throwing up, gut pain."
She chuckled as she wrote
down the very small list. "All the normal, though tests from the
supermarket are only 97% foolproof. So, about when do you think it was
conceived?"
I looked at her blankly, in fact trying to remember, but she took it for
confusion.
"When was the last time you fucked someone?" She reworded, grinning
like a maniac. I winced.
"That's the thing ...
em, about ... God this is embarrassing ... about half a year ago."
Liza stared at me.
"What?"
"Um .. six moths ago,
twenty six weeks, 182 days .. you know, half a year. Well, about half a year. I
don't keep-" I nervously rambled until she interrupted me.
"You can't be six
months along; you're not showing at all. In fact I think you've lost quite a
few pounds. You're not pregnant, it must be something else."
I let out a breath.
"Thank you, thank you-"
She tapped my nose with her
pen. "There's nothing wrong with being pregnant-"
"Childbirth,
ick," I shuddered. When I looked up at her, Liza was shaking her head,
smiling. "So, uh, what do you think I have?"
She rummaged in her drawer
and I leaned around in my chair to try and see what she was looking for. She
turned back around and held something under my nose. "Go piss in this for
me and we'll find out what's wrong with you."
I took the container, stood
up and did as I was told. When I came back, my hands washed eight times over,
Liza took the pee in a jar and started running some tests while I hovered
behind, demanding to know if I had a number of diseases I could think of off
the top of my head.
She turned around and
answered my last question as she walked back to her chair. "No, you don't
have AIDs. You have a urinary tract infection, which means you'll have to take
these antibiotics I prescribe for you, twice a day. If these don't help - and
by that I mean relieve symptoms- you'll have to be admitted into hospital. If
you need to be put into a ward, take the letter I'm writing for you right now
to the emergency room -"
Fucking brilliant, I thought at this point.
"- and they'll get you all fixed up."
When Liza had finished the
letter, I took it from her and stood up to leave, smiling and ready to thank
her. But she glared at me and commanded, "Sit."
She continued when I was seated again, "I want to talk to you about your
poor health-"
"Is it my fault I have
a urine disease?" I asked, worried.
"Urinary tract
infection, but no, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about your
stringy hair, exhausted look, weight loss ... what's going on?"
I shrugged.
"C'mon Carrie you have to know. Are you depressed? Tired? Sick?
Lonely?"
I nodded. "I am a bit
lonely but that doesn't mean anything."
"Judging by the state
you're in, it does mean something. The last time I talked to you, you
were living with some guy and, occasionally, his friends, right? What happened,
did you have an argument or something?"
"No, they just all
went on tour."
"And you miss
them," Liza said for me and I nodded. "Especially Frank?"
Damn her. "Well yeah, I guess."
She frowned. "So, let
me get this straight. You're not getting enough sleep, doing too much to
distract yourself and eating poorly because of a bunch of guys? Carrie,
I'm ashamed of you."
"I am looking after
myself, okay?" I snapped. "I'm just not at my best."
"And you're not at
your best because you miss Frank." She went on before I could protest.
"You love him."
"I do not love
him!" I objected.
"Carrie, what are we
still in third grade? Okay, I'll play along: you like Frank. You want to
hold his hand, you want to be his girlfriend and be with him all the
time." She grinned evilly (I really need to reconsider my choice of
friends). "You want to jump his bones."
"Liza, I find it
disturbing that you think that third graders would want to jump some guy they
like." I gasped, "No wonder you passed high school and Professor Sawyer
liked you so much!"
"Just because I was
smarter than you."
"You were held back a
year and I was put up one!"
"Mrs Goldstein held me
back because she resented that I was better at Art than her," she told me,
glaring hard at the wall in front of her desk as if it were Goldstein.
"Honey, you were held
back because you wrote 'not available' on all your exam papers because you
forgot to study due to sexual activity with Benjamin Lever-"
"Enough!" She
shouted, giggling and acting very un-Doctor-y. "We're talking about you
not me."
I pouted. "I don't
like this subject though, it's quite boring."
"I have a solution to
your problem though. Want to hear it?"
"Go on then."
"Tell Frank you love
him."
"I don't love
him!"
"Carrie, I'd be
worried if it was just lust having this effect on you, not love
... Someone old once said to me 'the lies will lock you up with truth the only
key'."
"Liza, stop quoting
Missy Higgins."
"Fine, but she's
right. You'll stop feeling, and looking might I add, like shit when you're
honest with yourself and tell Frank how you feel."
I stood up, the letter
grasped in my hand, and announced, "I'm leaving now."
"Let me know if he
says it back!" She called after me.
I called Gerard as soon as
I got home and was answered with, "It's seven o'clock in the fucking
morning, this had better be fucking good, fuckass."
"Gee, if it's seven I
have no sympathy for you - you should be up by now."
"Don't make me fly
back to Jersey just to slap you Carrie."
"Well hello to you too
Gee-"
"Hi Carrie! How
are you?"
I groaned. "You go
first and then we'll get to the good stuff."
"Well we've been
driving for four hours, so you just woke me from a pretty fucking terrible
sleep anyway. All we'll be doing today until eight o'clock tonight is lying
around the bus and maybe browsing through the aisles of supermarkets in kiddy
shopping carts. Even though Frank's the only one who'll really fit."
I giggled at the last
comment. "So, no signings or anything?"
"Nope. Oh, oh, oh!
Guess what!"
"What?"
"Mikey accidentally
run over the homeless person who's been harassing us with the tour bus. Ray and
Bob are visiting him in the hospital later on."
"That's
horrible!"
"Yeah. Pretty funny
though, right?"
"No! Fuck, you're
sadistic Mr. Gerard Arthur Way
"Pish posh. So, what's
up with you?"
"Well, I took a
pregnancy test because I was being paranoid-"
"Childbirth,
ick."
"Exactly, thank you!
Anyway, it came out positive."
There was a silence on the
other end until Gerard burst into almost hysterical laughter.
"You pregnant? You've gotten less action than ME ... Oh, you poor
thing..." He trailed off to giggle and I glared at my phone as it, it had
black hair, pretty hazel eyes and was 5'8ft.
"Gerard, put Mikey on
- I want to talk to Mikey. Mikey won't laugh at me, he's sweet. Put Mikey on
the goddamn phone!"
I heard him giggling as he
passed the phone wordlessly over to Mikey. Poor Mikey sounded really concerned.
"Carrie? Why is Gerard imitating a hyena?"
"Because I had a
near-pregnant experience-"
"You're having a baby?
Does this mean you're not a virgin anymore?"
"That's old news
darling. I haven't been a whatsimicallit for years." I looked down when I
felt a tugging on my pant leg. "Oh for fuck's sake, leave.me.alone!"
Mikey laughed nervously.
"Uh, Carrie, what?"
I smacked my forehead and
tried to tell him, "No, no-" but the dog bit my big toe for
attention"- do it again and I'll fucking spank you!"
"Carrie, are you okay?
You're kinda scaring me..."
"I'll feed you if you
shut up."
"Carrie-bear, I'm not
hungry..."
"Oh shit. No, Mikey I
wasn't talking to you - apparently the still-to-be-named dog wants food."
"Yes, dogs are like
humans that way. They like food too and require body fuel to live."
"Meh, it'll survive
another ten minutes." I looked down to see her on the ground, her legs
splayed and big, pathetic eyes. I rolled mine and turned away. "Uh, so ...
talking about surviving, how's Frank?"
"Has he been calling
you?"
"No."
"Oh ... well, he has
been sick... In fact, he’s puking his week's worth of body fuel, aswell as
vital organs, up in the toilet right now."
"Oh!" I yelped.
"Is he gonna be alright?!"
"Yeah, calm down, he
will be. Oh shit, Ray fell out of his bunk again and I'm on duty to help. Love you."
"Love you," I
replied before he hung up.
The dog looked up at me and
made a weird sound. I smiled, knelt down and pet her head. "Don't tell anyone, but you're kind of cute."
This second one was an
incredibly long moth without the guys.
xo-
~ My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die. Because it is not a band- it is an idea. ~
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