I just feel like rambling...
I think I've lost a part of the "artist" I used to be in highschool, you know? Like I've supressed it for so long it's too deep to reach now? I used to just sit in my bedroom, put on some music and draw endlessly. The pictures came out of my mind and practically draw themselves on the paper. Now I kinda have to scratch them outta my skull or something. I don't know.
It's also happening with my writing. A couple of years ago I started writing five or six different stories simultaneously, and I kept on write them all at the same time- well, never actually finished one of them, but still. Now I want to bring them back to life and the words just don't come to me. Back in the days I used to talk to this friend of mine -my bestie: Little Leech- and we came up with an idea for a story (mostly her ideas), or she just told me a dream she had and I could wirte it down so fast and effortless as if I had lived it. The words just came to me as if the characters were pushing from the inside of my brains to get out of there and into the paper- well, into the Word® document, but who cares about the details, right?
I kinda want to have it back. I lost my mojo :( Really, really hope is retrievable, otherwise I'm screwed. I don't wanna be just another nerdy geek cience lab rat! Mostly because all we do is kill rats, but that's not the point.
What I love most about me is that I'm a cience freak that is actually very conected to her artsy-self. And I like the way it all used to mess itself up. Not it's like I'm two different people in one body, and they're both fighting to stay. I don't know what to do in long terms, but this week, I'm giving a little bit of space to my artsy me. 'Cause she's really cool and totally deserves it xD
Sorry for the randomness. I just NEEDED to say it "outloud". And this is the only way I know.
xo-
*End Of Transmission*
I think I've lost a part of the "artist" I used to be in highschool, you know? Like I've supressed it for so long it's too deep to reach now? I used to just sit in my bedroom, put on some music and draw endlessly. The pictures came out of my mind and practically draw themselves on the paper. Now I kinda have to scratch them outta my skull or something. I don't know.
It's also happening with my writing. A couple of years ago I started writing five or six different stories simultaneously, and I kept on write them all at the same time- well, never actually finished one of them, but still. Now I want to bring them back to life and the words just don't come to me. Back in the days I used to talk to this friend of mine -my bestie: Little Leech- and we came up with an idea for a story (mostly her ideas), or she just told me a dream she had and I could wirte it down so fast and effortless as if I had lived it. The words just came to me as if the characters were pushing from the inside of my brains to get out of there and into the paper- well, into the Word® document, but who cares about the details, right?
I kinda want to have it back. I lost my mojo :( Really, really hope is retrievable, otherwise I'm screwed. I don't wanna be just another nerdy geek cience lab rat! Mostly because all we do is kill rats, but that's not the point.
What I love most about me is that I'm a cience freak that is actually very conected to her artsy-self. And I like the way it all used to mess itself up. Not it's like I'm two different people in one body, and they're both fighting to stay. I don't know what to do in long terms, but this week, I'm giving a little bit of space to my artsy me. 'Cause she's really cool and totally deserves it xD
Sorry for the randomness. I just NEEDED to say it "outloud". And this is the only way I know.
-Bipolar Me
xo-
*End Of Transmission*
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