social awkwardness.

have you ever been invited to a social event to which you don't want to go? like a party at a club or a pub, a relative birthday, a business event... well. i have. many, many times. why? because i'm socially awkward and i'd like it to stay that way. i know i should probably be thinking i should get out more and enjoy life, but fuck that! if i enjoy life then i can't enjoy tv shows, movies and really good music and bloggers. this is terrible advise. do not do this with your life.

still. everyday of my life i felt like Milhouse. following my supposedly 'best friend' around, not getting noticed. nobody never rememberd my name, but they did remembered my 'best friend''s name! every-fucking-time! you know what i mean? and whenever i tried to make a statement or stand up for something i got made fun of in some way, like that time, in The Simpsons, when the music teacher says "nobody likes Milhouse!". yep, the story of my life.

so during my high-school years i learnt to be quiet. to never get involved and stay as isolated as i could. don't get me wrong. i had 'friends', you could say. but in time i pushed them all away to avoid certain types of social awkwardness', such as: parties, being introduced to new people, going out with two realms of friends who should never make physical contact with each other, etcetera. i think it's mostly because i don't drink, i don't do drugs, i don't smoke, i don't have a job, my career is something that 'normal' people don't find interesting (Biology, if you're interested), i find pretty much any career that doesn't have to do with science completely useless and i say it outloud so people normaly hate me for that, i play a lot of videogames but not enough to be a gamer, i'm into comic books but not enough to be a nerd, i love to correct people when they're wrong, i hate when people don't speak right, and i'm plain mean. with everybody. no exceptions made! i never know when to shut up, and the only way i know how to stand up for my friends is breaking noses.
therefore, when invited to a any of the social events listed before, my first anwser is: "mmm, better not.". sometimes i go to these events and end up regretting it, or not having the time of my life, or even fun for that matter. so i think: "why did i even try this time again?". and i go back to thinking: "AVOID! AVOID! AVOID!".
i usually try to make an excuse for myself, but lately i kinda got tired of making excuses, and my 'friends' are gonna hate on me anyways, 'cause they know me, i'd like to think. and maybe they'll realize that i never show up and see the patern. then again, they may be a little stupid, so perhaps they won't notice anything. oh, well...

so, long story short: i've been invited to a birthday 'party' at a bar on saturday night. i don't know half the people that's gonna be there. it's gonna be during a happy hour, and honestly: no. i can't deal with drunk people even though they're not my responsibility, i just... can't-. get off my face. now. i'd rather stay home and watch a movie or something with my siblings, who aparently are as socially awkward as i am. cheers to that.

xo-

~ My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die. Because it is not a band- it is an idea. ~